The Four Styles Gallery
Four pillars of identity. Four patterns of connection. Understanding your attachment style is the key to navigating conflict with clarity.
Pause & Reflect
Before exploring the four styles, reflect on your early attachment experiences.
"When I was a child, how did my caregivers respond when I was upset or needed comfort? Were they consistently available, unpredictable, dismissive, or frightening?"
The Four Attachment Styles
Each style represents a unique pattern of relating, rooted in early experiences and activated during high-stress situations like divorce.
Secure (Anchor)
Grounded, balanced, and able to navigate conflict with emotional stability.
Anxious (Magnet)
Hyper-vigilant, seeking reassurance, and prone to emotional flooding during conflict.
Avoidant (Wall)
Self-reliant, emotionally distant, and uncomfortable with vulnerability or dependence.
Disorganized (Broken Compass)
Conflicted between seeking connection and fearing it, often rooted in trauma.
Recognize Your Current Patterns
After exploring the four styles, which patterns do you recognize in yourself during your divorce/custody situation?
"In my current legal situation, I notice that I tend to... (describe specific behaviors, thoughts, or emotional reactions)"
Identify Your Style
Take this brief assessment to discover your primary attachment pattern.